Marjorie Chuppa

I have to give a little backstory, before I get to the day God reached out to me. When I was 4, my 3-year-old brother Bruce and I were put up for adoption. (I met my birth Mom many years later, and learned that she was divorcing our father, and didn't think it would be fair to us to raise us in a single-parent family. This was 1960, and there were no resources like there are now.) Bruce and I were adopted and raised by good, loving parents, and remained extremely close. We had much the same relationship that twins usually have. In 1971 Dad was transferred from Halifax to Toronto. By September 30 the house was all packed up, and we moved into a hotel. That night Bruce was hit by a car and killed. The rest of the move was a nightmare. The day we were supposed to be on the plane was the day we buried him. Every person responds to grief in their own way. My Mom dove into a bottle, my Dad buried himself at work, and my 5-year-old brother had no idea what was going on. At 15, I became severely clinically depressed, although I wasn't dignosed until I was in my late 30's. In Januar of 1972, a month before my 16th birthday, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I went for a walk down to a frozen river, and decided to jump off the bridge. There wasn't another soul in sight. No people walking, no cars, nothing. As I put my foot on the parapet, I heard a quiet voice say: "Don't do this. Your parents have already lost one child. Don't take away another." Startled, I looked all around. There was no one. I can't describe the thoughts and feelings I had at that moment. I got down from the parapet, turned around, and walked home. I cannot honestly say things got better from there, but I always had a Friend. My faith has never waivered since. Even when I did things I knew I shouldn't, I knew He was there. I wandered away for awhile. I got married, had kids, buried one of them. In 1994 I went on a canoe trip with my kids' youth group, and there I rededicated myself to God. Both my kids accepted Christ, too. God is with me still, and always will be. I praise Him every day for His gifts to me, and for saving my life, both literally and figuratively. I have been married for more than 36 years. I have 2 wonderful adult children, a tiny angel in Heaven watching over us, and 3 lovely grandkids. God is truly great. There are two songs that speak to me very deeply. "Set Me Free", by Casting Crowns, brings me back to that moment on the bridge. And "Held", by Natalie Grant, reminds me of the day we buried wee Christopher, who only lived for four hours. Thank you for letting me share this. If I can help even one person with this story, stop just one suffering soul from ending his life, then what I went through was worth it.