Hi im Natalie I am currently 23yrs old and from New Zealand. I have always struggling to fit in, keep friends and relationships. I was always kinda empty. Mum was always a caring loving christian mother who was always there for me and my younger sister, but my father was quite abusive and we would often hear them fighting then mum would come running in crying and we would have to leave and stay at a friends house for a few nights then go home to the usual, this had been going on for as long as i could remember, eventually i moved out and was never really truly happy. A couple of yr later my mum got diagnosed with ovarian cancer, the family was devistated and thought the worst, but mum was always happy and at peace, which always made me think shes going to die soon, why would she not be sad? so i asked her one day before her third lot of chemo, why do u never cry and why are u always so happy? she started crying and said I believe its Gods way of getting me back on track and waking me up in life, the cancer is all my regrets and resentment i have bottled up inside, i cry lots!!! but its a happy cry, because God gives me dreams and they help me to get through this and get rid of all the garbage deep down, its hard but its gona heal me, by this time i was crying and we were hugging on her hospital bed,she went on to say that she had a dream that God was telling her that the chemo that goes through her body to think of it as Gods life giving blood. and so she looked forward to chemo because it was mum and Jesus' little secret. So this inspired me to ask questions about God, when mum got out of hospital I would go to church with her, i was very sceptical at first but it was starting to grow on me and touch my heart deep down. I went to the alpha course with her and it built me stronger and helped me understand alot more. I even started going to church by myself and going FOR myself and one day i was in church in worship and i just got overwhelmed and started to cry so i ran up the front and a couple of people followed me and i gave my heart to the lord, right there infront of the whole church 20Sept.2009 8.08pm and from that day on my life changed i ended my old lifestyle and God mt saviour filled the emptyness! a week later the church had a baptism and i wanted to do it more than anything, and oh what a feeling! I swear i was the happiest person alive that day, i couldnt stop grinning! Then a few weeks later i met this wonderful guy who also loves the lord, but he was leaving back for Canada in 6weeks so we spent as much time with eachother before he left, then he left and i followed 8months later and here i am since Jan2010 in canada listening and loving Reach fm! we have found a great church - Peoples Church, if you ever come across me i am very open and willing to meet new people, please introduce yourself!!!! Mum is better than ever now, my parents are no longer together but for the best, mum is thriving in the lord and dad is too, Life is great walking with thte Lord! God Bless! Natalie